It’s the end of a long weekend. We have been having long weekends for the past three weeks, it’s insane thinking about going back to 2-day weekend from now on.
I had a somewhat fruitful day. Woke up early and convinced myself to go for a run despite the unhealthy state of air quality with the ongoing haze. I tried to ask my other half to join me (half-hoping he would be more supportive of my effort to be healthier) but he rejected my invitation. As expected.
I ran 6km before calling it quits. The air wasn’t so bad. Came home to everything still on pause. I told him the kids have Quran recital today so please ask them to get ready. I cleaned up the house, washed the dishes, made breakfast. All the while thinking - why can’t he love me more to offer help without me asking?
I had a flashback when we first got married. How he used to help me out with laundry, vacuuming the house and cleaning up. When we first got a baby. How he took over the house chores to let me rest and just take care of the baby. He must have loved me back then, I thought ruefully. I don’t even know this man anymore.
After breakfast and making sure my eldest girl finished her homework, we ended up snoozing for a while. Then I woke up, showered and walked into the kitchen. He was sitting at the dining table, eating an apple by himself. What about lunch for the family? I asked him silently in my heart. I knew it was futile to expect him to think for us, so I simply asked him to fry prawns for our little girl and then I cooked a meal for us. My eldest girl wanted cheese sandwich so I popped bread and cheese in the oven.
I’m going out for my facial, I told him. Please help me to iron the kids’ school uniforms, clean up the kitchen, make sure the kids pack their school bags, I added in my heart. Please help your wife if you still love me. 2.5hours later I came back home to find none of those wishes came true.
I don’t know what is love to him anymore. I just hope we won’t wake up one day wondering why we drifted apart. I wonder what will 15th bring us. I hope it will be better than 13th.
I had a somewhat fruitful day. Woke up early and convinced myself to go for a run despite the unhealthy state of air quality with the ongoing haze. I tried to ask my other half to join me (half-hoping he would be more supportive of my effort to be healthier) but he rejected my invitation. As expected.
I ran 6km before calling it quits. The air wasn’t so bad. Came home to everything still on pause. I told him the kids have Quran recital today so please ask them to get ready. I cleaned up the house, washed the dishes, made breakfast. All the while thinking - why can’t he love me more to offer help without me asking?
I had a flashback when we first got married. How he used to help me out with laundry, vacuuming the house and cleaning up. When we first got a baby. How he took over the house chores to let me rest and just take care of the baby. He must have loved me back then, I thought ruefully. I don’t even know this man anymore.
After breakfast and making sure my eldest girl finished her homework, we ended up snoozing for a while. Then I woke up, showered and walked into the kitchen. He was sitting at the dining table, eating an apple by himself. What about lunch for the family? I asked him silently in my heart. I knew it was futile to expect him to think for us, so I simply asked him to fry prawns for our little girl and then I cooked a meal for us. My eldest girl wanted cheese sandwich so I popped bread and cheese in the oven.
I’m going out for my facial, I told him. Please help me to iron the kids’ school uniforms, clean up the kitchen, make sure the kids pack their school bags, I added in my heart. Please help your wife if you still love me. 2.5hours later I came back home to find none of those wishes came true.
I don’t know what is love to him anymore. I just hope we won’t wake up one day wondering why we drifted apart. I wonder what will 15th bring us. I hope it will be better than 13th.
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