Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Q1: When was the last time you took a break from work?
A1:Last week
last month
Last Raya
Last year when I was pregnant, but I did not want the break. The break made me all stressed out.
Q2: How many hours did you spend in the office per day, in a week?
A2:8 hours
10 hours
12 hours
Okay, it was more. I just had to finish my work so I cango back early the next day work on other tasks.
Q3: What time do you usually wake up & what is the first thing you do after that?
A3: Nowadays at 5am. I switch on my PC and continue my work.
Q4: Are you eating healthy food?
A4: Definitely
Occasionally
Would cut fruits served during meetings considered as healthy food?
Q5: Are you happy with your work?
A5: Of course I am! It's a great opportunity, working in this company. Maybe I feel stressed out once a while. But that only happens once in a while, maybe you know, every other hour in a day.
Q6: What is the purpose of you working?
A6:For personal achievement & satisfaction
For my image as a highly successful career woman
For the money because we can't afford on a single-income.
Q7: Which is more important, work or family?
A7: Family. If only work is not so busy, I would go back more often. Of course, sometimes work can get a little bit demanding, but I still found the time between meetings to order McD chicken porridge & had them deliver it for my sick & starving husband at home.
Yes, family's more important.
Q8: If you had a choice, what would you prefer to be?
A8:what I'm doing right now
A woman in power suit
A happy woman.
OH MY GOD! SUAMIKU, SEMOGA KAMU CEPAT2 JADI KAYA-RAYA SUPAYA SAYA BOLEH BERHENTI KERJA!
A1:
Last year when I was pregnant, but I did not want the break. The break made me all stressed out.
Q2: How many hours did you spend in the office per day, in a week?
A2:
Okay, it was more. I just had to finish my work so I can
Q3: What time do you usually wake up & what is the first thing you do after that?
A3: Nowadays at 5am. I switch on my PC and continue my work.
Q4: Are you eating healthy food?
A4:
Would cut fruits served during meetings considered as healthy food?
Q5: Are you happy with your work?
A5: Of course I am! It's a great opportunity, working in this company. Maybe I feel stressed out once a while. But that only happens once in a while, maybe you know, every other hour in a day.
Q6: What is the purpose of you working?
A6:
For the money because we can't afford on a single-income.
Q7: Which is more important, work or family?
A7: Family. If only work is not so busy, I would go back more often. Of course, sometimes work can get a little bit demanding, but I still found the time between meetings to order McD chicken porridge & had them deliver it for my sick & starving husband at home.
Yes, family's more important.
Q8: If you had a choice, what would you prefer to be?
A8:
A happy woman.
OH MY GOD! SUAMIKU, SEMOGA KAMU CEPAT2 JADI KAYA-RAYA SUPAYA SAYA BOLEH BERHENTI KERJA!
Perbandingan skop kerja saya dulu & sekarang:
Dulu:
1. Kerja berkaitan dengan design, website, buat business planning & kertas kerja.
2. Deal dengan Atok2, wartawan, user website, konsultan, etc.
3. Travelling requirement: tinggi.
4. Working hour: 9.00pg - 5.30ptg 3pg (bergantung sekiranya ada event / arahan Trump / EPU nak buat meeting terkejut lagi), Isnin - Jumaat
Sekarang:
1. Kerja berkaitan jaga sistem, work performance, plan meeting & buat event
2. Deal dengan staf, management.
3. Travelling requirement: Tinggi.
4. Working hour: 8.00pg - 5.00ptg 9mlm (bergantung sekiranya deadline sistem dalam minggu sama, ada meeting / event), Isnin - Ahad (kes buat kerja dari rumah la ni)
Kalau nak dibandingkan, haruslah saya mengakui yang kerja dulu lebih exciting & beri lebih kepuasan kerja (walaupun saya selalu komplen, tapi sebenarnya saya suka kerja2 design & business planning). Cuma saya tak teruja dengan work environment & layanan tak adil yang saya terima. Huhu.
Tapi dari segi reward system, kompeni baru lebih bermurah hati dan work value lebih Islamic, therefore saya ambil keputusan beralih arah. Membuat pekerjaan yang sangat2 berbeza dari apa yang saya buat sebelum ini. Cumanya, bidang baru ini memerlukan komitmen yang sangat tinggi - 7 days a week ok. Business planners tak buat kerja hujung minggu sebab business hours cuma Isnin - Jumaat. Tapi bila masuk bidang pengurusan, perlu selalu ready untuk terima panggilan bila-bila masa.
(Tapi sebenarnya, saya masih teringin nak jadi Graphic Designer yang berjaya, yang cuma bekerja dari rumah. Hopefully impian saya akan jadi kenyataan).
Ini ialah entry kosong.
Sekadar nak ucapkan hi. Selamat malam. Apa kabar semua. Harap semua baik2 saja.
Malam ni perlu tido awal. Sekarang waktu kerja bukan macam dulu.
Sekarang keluar rumah pukul 7.15am. Atau saya lewat. Lagi.
Saya belum tau apa yang perlu saya buat. Sejak minggu lepas, masuk ofis hanya untuk baca dokumen. Polisi. Intranet. Internet tak ada. Huhu. Makcik bosan.
Entah kenapa hari ini teringatkan ofis lama. Masa kerja lebih lewat. Pantri yang lebih besar. Ada fridge. Ada Coke free. Ada tea lady. Cubicle yang lebih anggun. Haha. Tak apa. Saya lakukan semuanya sebab saya nak gaji lebih besar. Caiyok2x! Apa gunanya ofis yang lebih lawa, bukan boleh bawak balik rumah pon!
Hopefully, bila sudah biasa dengan rutin kerja baru, saya tak akan rasa letih lagi. Letih sebab tak ada kerja. Masuk ofis hanya untuk tengok jam dan hitung waktu bila akan sampai jam 6.30petang.
Sila bagi cadangan, apa yang boleh saya buat di ofis besok?
Sekadar nak ucapkan hi. Selamat malam. Apa kabar semua. Harap semua baik2 saja.
Malam ni perlu tido awal. Sekarang waktu kerja bukan macam dulu.
Sekarang keluar rumah pukul 7.15am. Atau saya lewat. Lagi.
Saya belum tau apa yang perlu saya buat. Sejak minggu lepas, masuk ofis hanya untuk baca dokumen. Polisi. Intranet. Internet tak ada. Huhu. Makcik bosan.
Entah kenapa hari ini teringatkan ofis lama. Masa kerja lebih lewat. Pantri yang lebih besar. Ada fridge. Ada Coke free. Ada tea lady. Cubicle yang lebih anggun. Haha. Tak apa. Saya lakukan semuanya sebab saya nak gaji lebih besar. Caiyok2x! Apa gunanya ofis yang lebih lawa, bukan boleh bawak balik rumah pon!
Hopefully, bila sudah biasa dengan rutin kerja baru, saya tak akan rasa letih lagi. Letih sebab tak ada kerja. Masuk ofis hanya untuk tengok jam dan hitung waktu bila akan sampai jam 6.30petang.
Sila bagi cadangan, apa yang boleh saya buat di ofis besok?
For the past few months, I have been working hard on closing a deal on website advertising with a third-party system provider in Singapore. Working hard means I have scouted around for the service providers, got in touch with them, provided and collected data, met face-to-face, proposed layout design, discussed with web agency on integration works, and then became the middle person between Legal department and third party to finalise the agreement. And this A-Z works are just a tiny part of my work.
Finally, last Friday I was ready to show Trump that my department is not just a cost-centre. We are BOTH cost centre and revenue-generating unit. Perhaps, he won’t be so hard in giving his approvals, which will be good news for my successor once I am ready to re-hand in my resignation letter. On my part, that’s something to gloss up my resumé. ‘Despite being a cost-centre, I succeed in contributing monthly revenue for the company.’
With flushed face and thumping heart, I sat in front of Trump and said, ‘I bring you good news, Datuk. We have managed to get in website ads in our website, which translates into a revenue forecast of RMXk per month.’ I can hear Trump’s brain gearing into motions as he comprehended my rushing words. ‘What is this Carneyz talking about? Revenue? More RM? Cost centres don’t generate any revenues…’ and I had to explain in bits and pieces of how I started the whole project, how does the mechanism works, and showed him the memo & the finalised agreement.
He was, undeniably very pleased at this news. ‘Very good. RMXk? Good work.’ Were his two replies. He signed the agreement and studied the memo intently for a minute.
Then…
‘Don’t you think our website looks too cluttered? I find things all over the place. Don’t you think so? Why isn’t the Business section updated? Didn’t you ask from the related departments for feeds? I want it updated by end of this month!’
Suddenly he shot all these questions to us endlessly. It was as if we had wrestled the compliments out of his mouth, of which he had regained the control of his brain from our evil clutches and back to being Trump. The Trump who criticizes and then gives us the axe, and our heads roll out of his office back to where they belong. In a lowly ghetto.
This is probably my 1,865,394th reason to quit and look for a real job (instead of acting like a slave) - the fact that getting appreciated verbally is already hard enough, let alone getting salary increments.
There's something wrong with the place I work with.
We worked ourselves to a point of oblivion, of unlimited exhaustion, through sleepless nights and hunger - for the sake of this company.
What did the company repay us with?
A pat in the back? A note of approval? 'Well done, guys!' remarks? A toast to our efforts? A 'thank you' speech? Anything to acknowledge what we have done to suffer our mental, emotional and physical health?
I tell you all this. All of it. No. Let me stress that out. NOOOOOOO.
What we got instead were:
1. 'I was never informed. That was a stupid plan. That was a stupid way to make decision. I was not involved.' --> by the A***** manager. Oh great. And what was the reason I updated him and all other managers in their stupid morning meetings? To pass the time? Because I like attending their hot air meetings?
2. 'Nothing for the committee. It's part of their jobs to carry out this event.' I may not end up in HR after spending 4 years studying motivation, team work, all those HR ideologies - but I still keep this firmly in mind.
Why does UTM, a university that focused on engineering studies, have HR as part of its faculties? Because HR, is an engineering of a different kind. HRD (a.k.a training & human development) is about human engineering. Human resource is the most valuable resource a company has, but most often, the most neglected. When a machine breaks down, most companies spare no expenses to fix it. But when staff breaks down, nothing is done to improve the situation.
I'm not asking for a plaque each for everyone. Neither am I pushing for monetary rewards. I'm asking for meals for the committee. A t-shirt as a way to acknowledge that they are in-charge. Nothing of this sort was approved. Because the company does not want to waste. Is this considered wastage?
3. 'I want this to be done annually.' (Ask the committee to do this again. without any rewards) This is the biggest problem I have with this company. Good job, is rewarded with, well, more work.
You know what? Do it yourself. I'm done and through with the company's attitude. I think the management doesn't understand their staff, nor do they care much about us. I'm so over with slaving myself for nothing.
I'm quitting.
We worked ourselves to a point of oblivion, of unlimited exhaustion, through sleepless nights and hunger - for the sake of this company.
What did the company repay us with?
A pat in the back? A note of approval? 'Well done, guys!' remarks? A toast to our efforts? A 'thank you' speech? Anything to acknowledge what we have done to suffer our mental, emotional and physical health?
I tell you all this. All of it. No. Let me stress that out. NOOOOOOO.
What we got instead were:
1. 'I was never informed. That was a stupid plan. That was a stupid way to make decision. I was not involved.' --> by the A***** manager. Oh great. And what was the reason I updated him and all other managers in their stupid morning meetings? To pass the time? Because I like attending their hot air meetings?
2. 'Nothing for the committee. It's part of their jobs to carry out this event.' I may not end up in HR after spending 4 years studying motivation, team work, all those HR ideologies - but I still keep this firmly in mind.
Why does UTM, a university that focused on engineering studies, have HR as part of its faculties? Because HR, is an engineering of a different kind. HRD (a.k.a training & human development) is about human engineering. Human resource is the most valuable resource a company has, but most often, the most neglected. When a machine breaks down, most companies spare no expenses to fix it. But when staff breaks down, nothing is done to improve the situation.
I'm not asking for a plaque each for everyone. Neither am I pushing for monetary rewards. I'm asking for meals for the committee. A t-shirt as a way to acknowledge that they are in-charge. Nothing of this sort was approved. Because the company does not want to waste. Is this considered wastage?
3. 'I want this to be done annually.' (Ask the committee to do this again. without any rewards) This is the biggest problem I have with this company. Good job, is rewarded with, well, more work.
You know what? Do it yourself. I'm done and through with the company's attitude. I think the management doesn't understand their staff, nor do they care much about us. I'm so over with slaving myself for nothing.
I'm quitting.
I have a confession. I love my job to bits. It has everything to do with what I like doing. Design. Writing. Etc. But I want to quit (I’m already giving a deadline to hand my resignation letter). Why?
Well, I have another confession. I hate my environment. Even when I want to do my job so much, I have to plough through and push hard against the work environment to get it done.
… And so what if I want to place my marriage on top of work? The trouble with people nowadays are they are so driven by work that they spend too much time to build their career and too little time to make their marriage work. That’s why there are so many divorces nowadays, so many scandals at work and so many kids growing up without much guidance and become our biggest social problem. Yet, we still have the nerve to wonder where did things go wrong and come up with weird solutions like, training camps when the roots of the problem lie with us.
Call me old-fashion, ancient thinker, whatever. As far as I’m concerned, family is uno numero, the rest comes second. That includes work (you Trump, yes you).
This afternoon I received a phone call from a colleague in JB that made me very pissed off. In a loud voice, he demanded to know why his name was not listed on the website when he had done all the hard work compiling info on clients.
Pakcik bangang: 'Eh, why is my name not listed as contact person? I had done all the hard work, you should put the credit to me?'
Me: 'We know la you're doing your work. As for the contact person details, that's decided by my boss. Talk to him la.'
Pakcik bangang: 'Ya la, you know. But not everybody else! Later they think I don't do anything?'
Me (very annoyed already): 'I told you, my boss decides who gets his name on the website or who doesn't. Why are you scolding me?'
Pakcik bangang: 'I'm not scolding you. My voice is loud la, hello?'
Me: 'Whatever la. You call my boss, ask him (whether) can or not put your name there. Don't go attacking me like this. My job is to update the website as per instruction, ok.'
Pakcik bangang (in a I'm-not-done-with-you tone): 'Ok, I'll call him.'
He did exactly that. At 2pm sharp, he rang up twice. Twice, you know?? Just so he can have his name put up on the website!
I mean, what the fish?? Macam la dia buat kerja susah sangat? Itupun I had been bugging him for two weeks to get it done because his boss had been bugging my boss and in turn, my boss bugged me to bug him. When he got it done (finally!), he demanded free publicity like it is his own work effort.
Pakcik, if things work like that, the whole entire website should carry my name. Any queries, please contact ME because you know what, I work harder than you do to put it together. Ada faham? That stuff you compiled, I could've done it in one day if I was in JB 24/7. I don't need to wait for 2 whole weeks and every time had to listen to your lame excuse about the clients not co-operating.
Any posters, any buntings, any banners, anything down to the corporate brochure should include my name at the back or better still, on the front / at the top there because I designed them / I compiled those info. Why should they be free of my name after the thankless efforts I had put in? Shouldn't the whole world know that it is to my credit that this company owns a functioning website / up-to-date corporate brochure / cheaper posters because the creative artwork is done by me?
The only explanation to this whole thing is. Some people are really. Gila kuasa.
Excuse me. I go muntah darah.
Pakcik bangang: 'Eh, why is my name not listed as contact person? I had done all the hard work, you should put the credit to me?'
Me: 'We know la you're doing your work. As for the contact person details, that's decided by my boss. Talk to him la.'
Pakcik bangang: 'Ya la, you know. But not everybody else! Later they think I don't do anything?'
Me (very annoyed already): 'I told you, my boss decides who gets his name on the website or who doesn't. Why are you scolding me?'
Pakcik bangang: 'I'm not scolding you. My voice is loud la, hello?'
Me: 'Whatever la. You call my boss, ask him (whether) can or not put your name there. Don't go attacking me like this. My job is to update the website as per instruction, ok.'
Pakcik bangang (in a I'm-not-done-with-you tone): 'Ok, I'll call him.'
He did exactly that. At 2pm sharp, he rang up twice. Twice, you know?? Just so he can have his name put up on the website!
I mean, what the fish?? Macam la dia buat kerja susah sangat? Itupun I had been bugging him for two weeks to get it done because his boss had been bugging my boss and in turn, my boss bugged me to bug him. When he got it done (finally!), he demanded free publicity like it is his own work effort.
Pakcik, if things work like that, the whole entire website should carry my name. Any queries, please contact ME because you know what, I work harder than you do to put it together. Ada faham? That stuff you compiled, I could've done it in one day if I was in JB 24/7. I don't need to wait for 2 whole weeks and every time had to listen to your lame excuse about the clients not co-operating.
Any posters, any buntings, any banners, anything down to the corporate brochure should include my name at the back or better still, on the front / at the top there because I designed them / I compiled those info. Why should they be free of my name after the thankless efforts I had put in? Shouldn't the whole world know that it is to my credit that this company owns a functioning website / up-to-date corporate brochure / cheaper posters because the creative artwork is done by me?
The only explanation to this whole thing is. Some people are really. Gila kuasa.
Excuse me. I go muntah darah.
Yesterday I came down with a splitting headache on the left side of my temple. It's probably due to the straint on my poor, poor eyes. During office hours, I'd be staring non-stop at the monitor doing poster design / newsletter publishing. I spent one whole day cracking my head over the newsletter layout, testing & re-testing sending the newsletter via email to my various Yahoo!, Gmail, Hotmail and Outlook email accounts. The layout kejap lari2, font tukar2, itu ini. Aiyaah... No thanks to my lack of IT and web design knowledge. I was a human resources graduate, ok? I only married a programming expert. If only we can also swap knowledge base during exchange of marriage vows. I'd be a web expert as well then.
Anyway, after a hard day's work I will spend the night in front of my laptop unwinding my nerves playing computer games. No wonder my eyes couldn't take it anymore! Poor, poor darlings.
Today, there seems to be a lot of things to be done but my tired self couldn't even think of where to begin. I'm like, lost. So many things to do but nowhere to begin with.
The fact that my boss is discussing the outcome of American Idol last night instead of giving us clear, specific directions on how to achieve our growing list of tasks doesn't help with the thinking process either. Instead, I feel that my brain is killing itself slowly.
Like, hellooooo?? Do we have something to accomplish by next month OR NOT?
Anyway, after a hard day's work I will spend the night in front of my laptop unwinding my nerves playing computer games. No wonder my eyes couldn't take it anymore! Poor, poor darlings.
Today, there seems to be a lot of things to be done but my tired self couldn't even think of where to begin. I'm like, lost. So many things to do but nowhere to begin with.
The fact that my boss is discussing the outcome of American Idol last night instead of giving us clear, specific directions on how to achieve our growing list of tasks doesn't help with the thinking process either. Instead, I feel that my brain is killing itself slowly.
Like, hellooooo?? Do we have something to accomplish by next month OR NOT?
Last week, I cleared off most of the memos. All the memos are important. Department lain dah bising mintak itu ini. We have approximately 5 weeks to prepare an event. Yet, only 1 memo was signed. Last week, I sent a draft SOP to be cleared off. I never got any reply despite several reminders I sent.
It's really frustrating to work like this, isn't it? I have my own deadlines to achieve and it takes a helluva of a time to get past the approval phase. Tell me why I shouldn't get frustrated.
My boss is the most de-motivated person around. I do understand & I sympathise with the circumstances. But please la. While my assistant handles everything he is supposed to handle (including his travel claims, etc), I have to handle my assistant's work AND my work, on top of it. Tell me why that should not make me irritated with my boss.
Even the Finance Manager once, in a berrated way told us, 'I have 3 staffs over there, you have three staffs over here. Why can't you help us?' We start to do head-count and concluded he counted my boss' staffs as my assistant+me+me. Apparently, I'm a double-entry. Then I start to worry about how the company is faring when the Finance Manager can't even do head-count properly.
I guess this is the point of reflection. I am in the worst spot in my life - stuck with the work I love in a place I hate. Tough choice, Carneyz. Still, as I say - even the exit is forward.
It's really frustrating to work like this, isn't it? I have my own deadlines to achieve and it takes a helluva of a time to get past the approval phase. Tell me why I shouldn't get frustrated.
My boss is the most de-motivated person around. I do understand & I sympathise with the circumstances. But please la. While my assistant handles everything he is supposed to handle (including his travel claims, etc), I have to handle my assistant's work AND my work, on top of it. Tell me why that should not make me irritated with my boss.
Even the Finance Manager once, in a berrated way told us, 'I have 3 staffs over there, you have three staffs over here. Why can't you help us?' We start to do head-count and concluded he counted my boss' staffs as my assistant+me+me. Apparently, I'm a double-entry. Then I start to worry about how the company is faring when the Finance Manager can't even do head-count properly.
I guess this is the point of reflection. I am in the worst spot in my life - stuck with the work I love in a place I hate. Tough choice, Carneyz. Still, as I say - even the exit is forward.
Lately, I've been feeling down. It's one of the things women have to endure every month, the state of depression. In my case, my depression is rather self-inflicted.
I got depressed when I see my house in chaotic mess. No matter how many times I pick up clothes, towels, bags, books, papers, remote controls, they always find their way back on the floor.
I can't imagine if I start to have children. I'd go crazy, I think.
I got depressed when I wake up to find it's another day at work. Another day of hearing complaints, b*tching, and as if the whole department load is on my shoulders.
I even got depressed when I woke up to find my husband reaching out for the latest 3G handphone to check his email - instead of reaching out to cuddle up with me. I'm beginning to get insanely jealous of the phone and who knows I might throw it out of the window one of these depressed days. Or just hiding it somewhere away from my husband - under the gas stove or in the oven or perhaps in the washing machine. There are endless possibilities to explore.
Recently, I made up my mind to stop whining and grouching about how the system is such a rotten thing and just go about doing works instead of pointing to the right person who ought to do it. Despite management tips to delegate to get more effective, to me it's just bulls*it. The right person never do it and everybody ends up unhappy because the target got delayed, AGAIN.
And I am sick and tired of delays and how people around me keep depending on me or forgot what they are supposed to do because they are so consumed with unhappiness with the whole entire universe. The minute they open up their mouth, they will complain. Or promise to do something but then forgot and when reminded, never do anything. The only solution is to stick my head in the ground ostrich-style and just get moving.
Pray that I get a better offer. I am depressed, depressed, depressed.
I got depressed when I see my house in chaotic mess. No matter how many times I pick up clothes, towels, bags, books, papers, remote controls, they always find their way back on the floor.
I can't imagine if I start to have children. I'd go crazy, I think.
I got depressed when I wake up to find it's another day at work. Another day of hearing complaints, b*tching, and as if the whole department load is on my shoulders.
I even got depressed when I woke up to find my husband reaching out for the latest 3G handphone to check his email - instead of reaching out to cuddle up with me. I'm beginning to get insanely jealous of the phone and who knows I might throw it out of the window one of these depressed days. Or just hiding it somewhere away from my husband - under the gas stove or in the oven or perhaps in the washing machine. There are endless possibilities to explore.
Recently, I made up my mind to stop whining and grouching about how the system is such a rotten thing and just go about doing works instead of pointing to the right person who ought to do it. Despite management tips to delegate to get more effective, to me it's just bulls*it. The right person never do it and everybody ends up unhappy because the target got delayed, AGAIN.
And I am sick and tired of delays and how people around me keep depending on me or forgot what they are supposed to do because they are so consumed with unhappiness with the whole entire universe. The minute they open up their mouth, they will complain. Or promise to do something but then forgot and when reminded, never do anything. The only solution is to stick my head in the ground ostrich-style and just get moving.
Pray that I get a better offer. I am depressed, depressed, depressed.
There was a time when working in a corporate environment was a romantic dream. All those opportunities to wear smart suits, display cool professional gadgets, fly all around the world, drive big cars, rub shoulders with the wealthy & famous, being treated like one, etc. For years, I set my heart out to be one of the corporate figures. It seems the happiest thing to do. Being in a corporate world is the definition of success, and I'm happiest being successful.
When you finally arrive at the doorstep of corporate world and you step in, the dream that you cradle lovingly in your heart shatters into thousands of pieces. All these have got to come with a price - you have to sell your soul, your time & your loved ones to hang on in this world.
For a start, there's work. Work you learn to do but never learn to love. Every day you toil doing something joyless. Then there's the people. The people who are concerned over the dollar they spent. They want to squeeze as much values possible from their money spent, which translated into demands, negotiations, etc. You hate to push people, and you hate to be pushed. But baby, this is all corporate world is about. That's why with all the pushings, they are known as the world mover. The world stands still unless business drives it.
People only respect you when you are in your smart suits. They don't give a hoot when you change into your ordinary clothes, despite the fact you're the same person. The smart suit represents power & status. (No matter the fact I wore my business jacket while riding my CLK). The hypocrisy of everything. What do you get in the end of pretending to be one of the corporate players? You spend what you earn to preserve your reputation. More suits, more gadgets and more of everything just so you can be deemed as equals among corporate people.
In my 15 years of education, I was taught without great sacrifices, there is no great success. That is why I never hesitated to sacrifice what I have to achieve success. Time, money and lately, my soul. Profit vs. conscience. Meeting vs. loved ones. A detailed report vs. rest & sleep. Nothing is spared.
But why am I so reluctant to leave if it makes me unhappy? Is it because the world still defines success as how I once defined it? If you can be totally honest with your own prejudice, who is a more successful woman? A lawyer who has an expensive wardrobe, a big car and a beautiful house; or a simple housewife who raises up five kids with none of them goes hungry, unloved and uncared for despite daily financial limitations? If you tell yourself you want to forego career because you want to raise your kids and give them the best possible love & care, or spend more time with your family members instead of setting business goals to close in a deal, does it mean you're short of ambitions?
I am at a point of questioning my lifelong dream because when I close my fingers to grasp it, it turns out to be such a disappointment. It feels like somebody pricks a needle into a balloon and it bursts and you realize there's nothing inside it. Your dream actually has shattered, leaving you clueless of what exactly is the right thing to do for the rest of your life.
What happens when dreams deferred? What happens when you figured out what you want and work hard towards it only to realize it is not exactly what you want?
It has better be between a confectionery shop or a chicken rice restaurant.
It's 3 a.m. in the morning. I'm still at the office. Ainie is somewhere at the corner of the office, rehearsing her part of presentation. Jen is asking the Chairman the meanings of some of the terminology in her part. The Chairman is preparing the proposal after finishing the slides while answering Jen's questions.
At 11.30 pm the night before, we came up with the concept and the basic idea.
At 11.00 am, Jen and I discussed the main ideas and fine-tuning the details.
At 2 pm, Jen & Ainie left to attend to some other business.
At 5 pm, I was still working out the logo design. At 6 pm, the team came together to give inputs and at 7 pm, the logo was finalized.
At 9 pm, we sat cross-legged looking at the plan where the event is proposed to happen. And discussed which event is to take place where, and what are the packages we are going to offer. We had an old plan and we had to update the plan.
At 11 pm, Ainie scanned the old plan and emailed it to me. While I revised the plan, Jen & Ainie worked on the proposed itinerary and project timeline. 140 days away...
At 2 am, I came up with the new plan, emailed it to the Chairman, and came back to the main office. The Chairman finalized the PowerPoint slides, and printed handout copies to all.
At 2.30 am, we divided the slides and who will present what.
At 3 am, here I am, waiting for 10.30 am where we are going to present the proposal to the management.
And at 2 pm, we will start on the next business proposal...
At 11.30 pm the night before, we came up with the concept and the basic idea.
At 11.00 am, Jen and I discussed the main ideas and fine-tuning the details.
At 2 pm, Jen & Ainie left to attend to some other business.
At 5 pm, I was still working out the logo design. At 6 pm, the team came together to give inputs and at 7 pm, the logo was finalized.
At 9 pm, we sat cross-legged looking at the plan where the event is proposed to happen. And discussed which event is to take place where, and what are the packages we are going to offer. We had an old plan and we had to update the plan.
At 11 pm, Ainie scanned the old plan and emailed it to me. While I revised the plan, Jen & Ainie worked on the proposed itinerary and project timeline. 140 days away...
At 2 am, I came up with the new plan, emailed it to the Chairman, and came back to the main office. The Chairman finalized the PowerPoint slides, and printed handout copies to all.
At 2.30 am, we divided the slides and who will present what.
At 3 am, here I am, waiting for 10.30 am where we are going to present the proposal to the management.
And at 2 pm, we will start on the next business proposal...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)